Diagnosing Your Baby’s Bedtime Problems

You carefully close the door behind you and release a sigh of relief. Your precious little child is safely tucked away for the night — or so you think. In a matter of hours, your sleeping bundle of joy will wake you up with a screech. Even if you manage to resettle them, they tend to wake up at least once more and then — despite their broken sleep — start the day at an unholy hour.

Sound familiar?

Nighttime wakings (for babies and beyond, not newborns who developmentally can’t go without eating during the night) and early rising are two huge problems that many of my most frazzled clients deal with. And it’s completely understandable.

You feel you’re doing everything you can to set your child up for success, but ultimately, your efforts are in vain. I hate to break it to you, but even the best bedtime routine can be thwarted by a timing issue.

What I mean is that when bedtime happens is one of the most important parts of your child’s development — and many parents are putting their kids to bed too early or too late (or really, really late).

That’s why I’m dedicating an entire blog to guide you toward the best bedtime for your babe and helping you diagnose some of the most common bedtime problems.

Let’s dive in.

Bedtime is too early

I’m starting with too-early bedtimes because they aren’t as common as too-late bedtimes (but trust me, they still happen). I definitely want your child to go to bed earlier rather than later, but too early can be just as much of a problem. You might need to push your child’s bedtime back if they:

• Take longer than 20 minutes to fall asleep

• Struggle to fall asleep

• Frequently wake up in the middle of the night for long period, unable to fall back asleep

• Don’t have adequate waketime before bedtime (see chart below)

• Get enough sleep overnight, but are waking up before 6am

These symptoms can masquerade themselves as an early bedtime but actually indicate a totally different problem in your child’s sleep and wake schedules. Keep a close watch on your child during the day and look for patterns. If you suspect a too-early bedtime, try pushing bedtime back 10-15 minutes every night over the next few days. Take stock again and see if anything changed or improved. If not, go back to their original bedtime, call me, and we’ll figure out what’s going on together.

Bedtime is too late

See also: “Your kid is awake too long before bedtime, so now they’re overtired and won’t sleep soundly overnight and will probably wake you up before you’ve even finished that dream you were dreaming about swimming with the dolphins.”

A too-late bedtime is one of the most common culprits of nighttime wakings and early rising. A kid who’s overtired has a hard time both falling and staying asleep through the night.

If your older baby, toddler, or big kid can’t string together an age-appropriate stretch of nighttime sleep or they’re constantly waking up early (before 6am), let’s talk about shifting your kid’s bedtime earlier by fifteen minutes.

Here’s a handy chart to help you determine what your kid’s day should look like from the end of their last nap to bedtime and beyond.

Bedtime is really late

Extremely late bedtimes are usually only a newborn thing, but older babies and beyond can get stuck in a really-too-late bedtime cycle, as well. Your baby might be a rockstar and sleep 10-11 hours at night, but if their bedtime is 9pm+, you’re looking at (earliest) an 8am wakeup time.

That might sound luxurious, but you (and possibly the other kids in the house) need to get up and out the door. My suggestion is to start shifting everything (bedtime, nap times, and wake-up time) 15 minutes every day until you hit your desired bed and wake-up time.

Resist the urge to reset your child's sleep schedule in one go. You’ll end up with a cranky, overtired kid, making the process all the more difficult when you start over.

As you begin Operation Bedtime Shift, remember that daylight is your friend. Expose them to as much natural light when they first wake up and then cut them off when it’s time for bed. This is also the time to make sure you have a stellar bedtime routine in place.

Bedtime is inconsistent

Once your baby is past the newborn stage (around 3 months), their bedtime should be pretty set in stone from here on out. And I’m not the only one who thinks so. One study found that willy-nilly bedtimes contribute to behavioral issues in children.

If you’re reading this, today is the day you sit down and get a handle on your kid’s rogue routine. Write it down on a piece of paper and stick it to the fridge, set reminders on your phone, do whatever you have to do to make sure that bedtime happens at the same time every time.

Let’s battle the bedtime scaries together

I want to make bedtime your favorite part of the day. A time you can actually look forward to because it means your child is safely tucked away, getting the rest they need, and you get to take off your parent hat for at least an hour or two and recharge your own batteries.

It may not seem possible right now, but if you team up with me, I can help you nail down the perfect bedtime routine and schedule. Click here to see the sleep packages I offer or here to schedule a free discovery call.